English Writing Practising

[whoisit]

Một sinh viên bị công an đánh bất tỉnh giữa phố
Thứ bảy, 12/4/2008, 19:44 GMT+7
Tối 11/4, một sinh viên đã bị một cảnh sát giao thông đánh bất tỉnh ngay giữa đường phố Tam Kỳ (Quảng Nam). Theo lời kể của những người chứng kiến, sau khi nạn nhân ngã xuống, công an này lên xe định bỏ đi thì bị người dân ngăn lại.
Sáng 12/4, anh Đoàn Phước Tuấn (sinh 1987 trú tại xã Tiên Thọ, huyện Tiên Phước, Quảng Nam), hiện là sinh viên lớp điện khóa 32 Trường cao đẳng kinh tế kỹ thuật Quảng Nam, vẫn đang nằm điều trị tại khoa ngoại chấn thương (Bệnh viện đa khoa Quảng Nam).
In the evening 11th of April, A student was beaten to concousless in the street of Tam Ky in the evening of Tam Kỳ (Quảng Nam). According to the witnesses, as this policeman was about to get on his motorbike and ran away, after the victim has been fallen down, he was stopped by the residents.
In the morning 12th off April, Doan Phuoc Tuan (worn born in 1987, reside at Tien Tho commune, Tien Phuoc district, Quang Nam pro.), a student of course 32 of the Quang Nam of Technical and Economic College, is still being treated at Surgical - Trauma Ward (Quang Nam General Hospital).

 

[hard learner]

Reading is not enough to improve your writting skill. So, you must write more and more to show your mistakes to correct.

Đọc không thì chưa đủ để phát triển kỹ năng viết. Vì vậy, cần phải viết nhiều để thấy được cái sai mà sửa.

Can you correct this sentence for me,please?

Bạn có thể sửa giúp tôi câu này không?.

Because of my writting skill is very bad, so I openned this topic.

Cũng chính vì khả năng viết của mình kém nên tôi mới lập ra topic này.

Because my writing skill is very bad, I opened this topic.

 

[sweet_girl]

Writing a letter of application

31/3/2009

Dear Sirs/Madams

Re: Application for Employment


I have seen the advertisement in the website vietnamworks.com.vn, that you are looking for candidates for several positions in Sales Excutive

I realize that your requirements match my qualificatons and interests. I graduated from National Economic University in 2007,major in financing and banking

I have been a Sales Supervisor for over a year In Cathay Life Insurance, and I have experience in setting up a department: interview and select agents, support and manage them.I also had the responsibility of group achievement, staff training and managing. All of these has given me the confidence to express myself clearly and confidently


I am looking for new challenges and the position Sales Excutive of sounds the perfect opportunity. Your organization has an enviable record and an excellent reputation as an employer, making the position even more attractive.

I enclose my Curriculum Vitae for your consideration and look forward to hearing from you soon. I am available for an interview at your convenience

Yours sincerely,
Do Thanh Loan

this is my application letter, please correct if i have any mistake and can every body give suggestion so i can take the job, i am not sure this application is long and impressed enough or not

 

[solomon2211]

Writing a letter of application

@ sweet_girl: Xem thử đơn xin việc dưới đây xem sao nhé.

Dear Sirs/Madams

Re: Application for Employment


I am much honored to know that your company is looking for qualified candidates for the position of Sales Executive.

I would like, by this chance, to be considered as a potential candidate for this post.

I graduated from the National Economic University in 2007, major in financing and banking. To facilitate my jobs and to improve my skill and to be ready for new challenges, I have studied some of management skills. I have gained the customer service skill by attending a two-month course.

Since 2008, I have been working as a Sales Supervisor for Cathay Life Insurance, a famous insurance firm. My task is to set up a working group in my department to approach interviews and choose agencies. As the Sales Executive, I supported and managed each of team members to accomplish the company’s goal. Working as team, I played the role of leader to train staffs some of management skills and communication and negotiation skills.

I can speak English fluently and use computer with most of office software such as Word, Excel, Power Point, Internet Explorer and Email …

With my background, I am confident against to any challenges. And with my qualification and experience in Sales Executive, I can provide the best contribution to the development of your company. Furthermore, I would like to gain more experience in the new company, especially the excellent and developing company like your company. I would like to convert my skills and experience into valuable for your company.

I enclose my Curriculum Vitae for your consideration and look forward to hearing from you soon. I am available for an interview at your convenience.

Yours sincerely,
Do Thanh Loan

 

[laianhtu]

Thử xem cái này thêm nhé bạn:
Attn: Personnel Manager


Dear Sir/Madam,

Your advertisement for Sales Supervisor position emphasizes your need for a thoroughly competent person with sufficient practical experiences. Would you take a moment to consider my qualification?

Enclose my resume giving more details about my qualifications. It seems to me that my experience together with education has given me ideal preparation to assume the role of Sales Supervisor in an enterprise such as yours. All of my professional experience has been in manufacturing organizations.

I am eager to become Sales Supervisor in your company where I can assume the wider responsibility. I am confident that I can quickly become an effective member of your company.

Hence, after taking my CV into consideration, should you find any further question? Please do not hesitate to contact me at any time.

Yours truly,


Do Thanh Loan

 

[ptm0412]

Firstly, I would like to say thanks to anyone who joins this topic. After that I would like to say thanks to Solomon2211, who gave us a standard form of application.

Finally, I hope Mr Solomon2211 would not mind seeing my opinion.
In this sentense, according to me, I think some word should be changed, it is not any incorrect, but it makes the sentense sounds less strong:

I would like to gain more experience in the new company, especially the excellent and developing company like your company.

I suggest:

I would like to gain more experience in the new company, especially the excellent and developing company like yours

And this sentense:

I would like to convert my skills and experience into valuable for your company.

I suggest:

I would like to convert my skills and experience into benefit for your company
Thanks for reading,

To laianhtu: May I tell you sth about your sentenses?

 

[solomon2211]

Cám ơn anh ptm0412 rất nhiều. Nhân đây, cũng xin gửi lại bài có hiệu chỉnh tí xíu.

Dear Sirs/Madams

Re: Application for Employment


I am much honored to know that your company is looking for qualified candidates for the position of Sales Executive.

I would like, by this chance, to be considered as a potential candidate for this post.

I graduated from the National Economic University in 2007, major in financing and banking. To facilitate my jobs and to improve my skill and to be ready for new challenges, I have studied some of management skills. I have gained the customer service skill by attending a two-month course.

Since 2008, I have been working as a Sales Supervisor for Cathay Life Insurance, a famous insurance firm. My task is to set up a working group in my department to approach interviews and choose agencies. As the Sales Executive, I supported and managed each of team members to accomplish the company’s goal. Working as team, I played the role of leader to train staffs some of management skills and communication and negotiation skills.

I can speak English fluently and use computer with most of office software such as Word, Excel, Power Point, Internet Explorer and Email …

With my background, I am confident against to any challenges. And with my qualification and experience in Sales Executive, I can provide the best contribution to the development of your company. Furthermore, I would like to gain more experience in the new company, especially the excellent and developing one with the best culture and environment like yours . I would like my skills and experience to become valuable for your company.

I enclose my Curriculum Vitae for your consideration and look forward to hearing from you soon. I am available for an interview at your convenience.

Yours sincerely,
Do Thanh Loan

Cấu trúc của đơn xin việc bao gồm các phần sau:

1. Thông tin tại sao mình biết được nhu cầu tuyển dụng và mong muốn được làm ứng viên
2. Thông tin chính về trình độ học vấn và các kỹ năng nổi trội
3. Các kinh nghiệm làm việc đã kinh qua và các thành công đã đạt được
4. Các khả năng bổ trợ (vừa đủ) để hoàn thành công việc. Mong mỏi đóng góp và kỳ vọng khi được tuyển dụng.

 

[sweet_girl]

Mr Solomon2211 have change this sentence

I would like to convert my skills and experience into valuable for your company.

into this
I would like my skills and experience to become valuable for your company

it is my own opinion, this sentence is softer,better and and more polished than the first sentence

 

[baikhongnan]

hi every body, nice to meet you.

 

[Romantic_march]

Hi Everybody, I am learning to write in English, I start a simple thing such as myself, my family, my friend.... I will post in here, I hope everybody can correct for me. Thank alot

 

[Romantic_march]

About myself

My name's Minh Anh, I was born in SG and now still living in SG in Ngo Quyen street. I am 23 years old, I am final-year student in Economic National University, major in Marketing. June next year I will gradurate, I hope that I can be looked for job early to help my family.

My family is middle class and small family, there are only 4 members in my family, my parents, young brother and me. My mother is a teacher in primary school but she opens one shop to work as part time in every afternoon, so she only teach in her school in morning, she is 46 years old. My father retired so he works at home, it is funny, my father is three years younger than my mother. They seldom quarrel and they are thrifty

I am oldest, I have one young brother, he is student too, but he is studying in Da Lat, he is two years younger than me. He is sharing with one flat with other two boys, every weekend he visits our family. He usually takes me to the cinema he said he can take me now when he has girl friend I will have to go alone, this year he tries the best to award excellent student.

to be contined.......

 

[kiredesune]

I read your song translations and busted into unstoppable laughing. You had distorted the romantic meaning of every words in song

My name's Minh Anh, I was born in SG and now still living in SG in Ngo Quyen street. I am 23 years old, I am final-year student in Economic National University, major in Marketing. June next year I will gradurate, I hope that I can be looked for job early to help my family.

My name's Minh Anh, I was born in SG and still living there since i was a baby. My home is located at Ngo Quyen street where its name sticks to a famous national hero. I am 23 years old. I am now stepping on my final year at Economic National University, Marketing faculty. I will graduate from university next June. As every other Vietnamese students, I chew a dream of finding a good job after graduating to support my family.

My family is middle class and small family, there are only 4 members in my family, my parents, young brother and me. My mother is a teacher in primary school but she opens one shop to work as part time in every afternoon, so she only teach in her school in morning, she is 46 years old. My father retired so he works at home, it is funny, my father is three years younger than my mother. They seldom quarrel and they are thrifty

My family is middle class with totally four members, my parents, my younger brother and me. My mother is a teacher at primary school. She is now in her sixty and she is a bright mirror for us. I serve all my love and respect to my mother as in my eyes she is not only a good teacher but also a wonderful business women. In order to pay for our studying, my mother runs her own small shop as part time job every afternoon. My father is 3 years younger than my mother. But age says nothing when mother loves father and vice verse. Sometimes, parents get small quarrel but it is a kind of spice make life meaningful. I and my younger brother always look up on my father as he understand us well. He teaches us right from wrong. He take care of us when we were ill. My father is the greatest man of the world.

I am oldest, I have one young brother, he is student too, but he is studying in Da Lat, he is two years younger than me. He is sharing with one flat with other two boys, every weekend he visits our family. He usually takes me to the cinema he said he can take me now when he has girl friend I will have to go alone, this year he tries the best to award excellent student.

to be contined.......

My younger brother is 2 years younger than me and now is studying at an university in Da Lat. Living far from home, my younger brother and other two boys have to run a house and share the rental cost together. I love weekend time at my family as my younger brother comes visit home at weekend. He usually takes me to the cinema to watch my favorite film. Sometimes, he tell me joke that i would have to go to cinema alone one day he has a girlfriend. I can't image how i will be at that time but i will be really happy if his words comes true. My younger brother is a hard working student, he always tries his best to win award of excellent student.

My family is not rich but it is a full house. I love my small family a lot.

 

[Romantic_march]

I read your song translations and busted into unstoppable laughing. You had distorted the romantic meaning of every words in song

Cám ơn chị đã sửa bài cho em.
Chị nhầm em với chị sweet rồi, vì em dịch rất kém nên em chỉ đưa bài lên để mọi người dịch và học tập thôi. Chị rảnh thời gian lên đây đóng góp ý kiến để em học tập và nâng cao trình độ tiếng anh kém cỏi của mình

 

[sweet_girl]

I read your song translations and busted into unstoppable laughing. You had distorted the romantic meaning of every words in song

Hic, Minh dịch chán đến vậy cơ à

 

[kiredesune]

Hic, Minh dịch chán đến vậy cơ à

Không nói bạn, chủ định nói em Romantic. Nhưng có thể nhầm em Romantic với Mr.Pmt hoặc Mr.Solomon hoặc Mr.Cadafi... Hoặc ai đó khác, mình không nhớ rõ.

Đấy là bạn hỏi thì mình trả lời đấy nhé!

 

[sweet_girl]

Không nói bạn, chủ định nói em Romantic. Nhưng có thể nhầm em Romantic với Mr.Pmt hoặc Mr.Solomon hoặc Mr.Cadafi... Hoặc ai đó khác, mình không nhớ rõ.

Đấy là bạn hỏi thì mình trả lời đấy nhé!

Thật ra những bài dịch đa phần là mình dịch, cadafi chưa dịch bài hát nào rồi, solomon mới dịch một chút thôi. Bác Ptm mình có bảo bác ý vào dịch bác ý bảo sợ, mấy bài hát đó để mấy ông nhạc sỹ dich nó mới bay bổng và hay. Mình dịch song cũng cảm thấy khô và cứng, vì mình vẫn biết là mình dịch ý chứ không phải dịch văn chương, và cũng đang trong quá trình học dịch, vì vậy topic rất cần những người giỏi dịch như Kiredesune. Đôi lúc mình dịch xong, không có đáp án nên không biết lấy gì để so sánh, chẳng biết hay dở ra sao. Em romantic là người đưa bài lên, nhưng cũng chỉ là người học thôi.
Em romantic chê chị nhé, em làm chị không dám lên dịch nữa hu hu

 

[chiprock126]

Thật ra những bài dịch đa phần là mình dịch, cadafi chưa dịch bài hát nào rồi, solomon mới dịch một chút thôi. Bác Ptm mình có bảo bác ý vào dịch bác ý bảo sợ, mấy bài hát đó để mấy ông nhạc sỹ dich nó mới bay bổng và hay. Mình dịch song cũng cảm thấy khô và cứng, vì mình vẫn biết là mình dịch ý chứ không phải dịch văn chương, và cũng đang trong quá trình học dịch, vì vậy topic rất cần những người giỏi dịch như Kiredesune. Đôi lúc mình dịch xong, không có đáp án nên không biết lấy gì để so sánh, chẳng biết hay dở ra sao. Em romantic là người đưa bài lên, nhưng cũng chỉ là người học thôi.
Em romantic chê chị nhé, em làm chị không dám lên dịch nữa hu hu

Hãy tin vào chính mình chứ, sao dễ bị phân tán thế. Mới có vài lời đã nản rồi . Cố lên !

 

[tramykt86nt]

Hi everybody,
May I introduce a little bit about myself? My name's Bich Thuy, was born in 1986. I join in GPE recently. But from now it's my favorite everyday. And this topic seems to be very exciting. I'm so glad to make acquainted with everyone who is interested in English in particular as well as foreign language in general. By the way, I'd like to share some documents for learning English that I collected from my friend to all of you. But I don't know how to upload it (that file is about more than 500MB). Could you show me?
In my opinion, we should arrange some offline appointments to practise English speaking. As I know, there's an coffee shop in address 130 3/2 street (opposite of Maximark supermarket) where we can meet together and speak English with English club every Sunday. How do you think?

 

[Hoàng Trọng Nghĩa]

Thật ra những bài dịch đa phần là mình dịch, cadafi chưa dịch bài hát nào rồi, solomon mới dịch một chút thôi. Bác Ptm mình có bảo bác ý vào dịch bác ý bảo sợ, mấy bài hát đó để mấy ông nhạc sỹ dich nó mới bay bổng và hay. Mình dịch song cũng cảm thấy khô và cứng, vì mình vẫn biết là mình dịch ý chứ không phải dịch văn chương, và cũng đang trong quá trình học dịch, vì vậy topic rất cần những người giỏi dịch như Kiredesune. Đôi lúc mình dịch xong, không có đáp án nên không biết lấy gì để so sánh, chẳng biết hay dở ra sao. Em romantic là người đưa bài lên, nhưng cũng chỉ là người học thôi.
Em romantic chê chị nhé, em làm chị không dám lên dịch nữa hu hu

Nếu có mấy ông nhạc sỹ mà dịch thuật bằng hoặc giỏi hơn Sweet thì quá hay cho nền âm nhạc của chúng ta. Tôi xin lỗi nếu có đụng chạm, chứ bây giờ những bài nhạc ngoại dịch ra tầm bậy tầm bạ, chẳng ăn nhập gì với nội dung bài hát đã đành, vậy mà còn đạo nhạc (tôi muốn nói là mượn giọng (tone) của người ta rồi tự chế lời Việt). Tôi nhớ trước đây, hoặc nếu các anh chị có xem, có thưởng thức nhạc hải ngoại với những bài như Papa, Maman, Green Fields, Hotel California, Black Magic Woman v.v... Thì những bài nhạc ngoại lời Việt dịch thật sát và cũng đầy tính trữ tình, lãng mạn. Còn bây giờ, hic hic, (buồn nôn).

GREEN FIELDS

Once there were green fields kissed by the sun
Once there were valleys where rivers used to run
Once there were blue skies with white clouds high above
Once they were part of an everlasting love
We were the lovers who strolled through green fields

Green fields are gone now, parched by the sun
Gone from the valleys where rivers used to run
Gone with the cold wind that swept into my heart
Gone with the lovers who let their dreams depart
Where are the green fields that we used to roam

I'll never know what made you run away
How can I keep searching when dark clouds hide the day
I only know there's nothing here for me
Nothing in this wide world, left for me to see

Still I'll keep on waiting until you return
I'll keep on waiting until the day you learn
You can't be happy while your heart's on the roam
You can't be happy until you bring it home
Home to the green fields and me once again.



ĐỒNG XANH

Đồng xanh là chốn đây
Thiên đàng cỏ cây
Là nơi bầy thú hoang đang vui đùa trong nắng say
Đây những bờ suối vắng
In phơi mình bên lùm cây
Đây những dòng nước mắt khẽ vươn tay về thung lũng
Và những đôi nhân tình đang thả hồn dưới mây trời

Đồng xanh giờ vắng tanh giữa trời lãng quên
Còn đâu bầy thú hoang đã vui đùa trong nắng êm
Đâu những bờ suối vắng in phơi mình bên lùm vắng
Đâu những dòng nước mắt khẽ vươn tay về thung lũng
Và những đôi nhân tình xưa đã lìa cách xa rồi

Ta yêu đồng xanh như đã yêu thương con người
Ta thương đôi tình nhân kia như gió thương yêu mây trời
Nhưng sao giờ đây chẳng thấy ai chung quanh ta
Đất trời như bãi tha ma trên đồng hoang cỏ cháy

Giờ ta còn đứng đây giữa vùng hắt hiu
Trời không một chút mây đã khô cằn như đáy tim
Sao ta còn đứng mãi như người tình mong đợi ai
Sao ta còn đứng mãi để nghe tâm hồn tê tái
Và đã bao năm rồi ta đứng chờ giữa cánh đồng.

 

[Hoàng Trọng Nghĩa]

Hi everybody,
May I introduce a little bit about myself? My name's Bich Thuy, was born in 1986. I join in GPE recently. But from now it's my favorite everyday. And this topic seems to be very exciting. I'm so glad to make acquainted with everyone who is interested in English in particular as well as foreign language in general. By the way, I'd like to share some documents for learning English that I collected from my friend to all of you. (1) But I don't know how to upload it (that file is about more than 500MB). Could you show me?
In my opinion, (2) we should arrange some offline appointments to practise English speaking. As I know, there's an coffee shop in address 130 3/2 street (opposite of Maximark supermarket) where we can meet together and speak English with English club every Sunday. How do you think?

(1) Why don't you Upload on the page: http://www.4shared.com/ then share them to our members?

(2) That's great idea, I'd like practising my English so much, but I think most of us don't have much time to go there. I hope we could have some offline appointments like that. Let wait... kha kha kha

Thanks for your good Ideas.